🧠 How to Deal with Toxic People: The Manipulator Edition

 Welcome to Cave Incognito, where we keep it dreamy, messy, and 100% real.

You know that one person who can twist a situation faster than your earbuds tangle in your pocket? Yeah — the manipulator. The guilt-ninja. The emotional magician who always makes you look like the bad guy while they wear the halo.

Let’s just say: today’s post is for them… but mostly for you.

🚩 So, What Even Is a Manipulator?

They’re not wearing a “Hello, I’m Toxic” name tag (though imagine if they did—so convenient). Instead, they:

  • Guilt-trip you like it’s their love language.

  • Say one thing, then pretend they didn’t.

  • Make you feel like you’re too much or not enough, depending on the weather.

  • And somehow, you end every convo confused, emotionally drained, or apologizing for… breathing?

Spoiler: it’s not you. It’s them. And I’m here to help you out-maneuver the emotional gymnastics they expect you to perform.

🎯 Rule #1: You’re Not a Puppet, Babe

They pull strings. You say: nah, I cut those last season.

The moment you start trusting your gut instead of their carefully rehearsed guilt monologues, the spell starts to break. Magic trick? Exposed.

✋ Rule #2: Boundaries. Are. Hot.

Literally nothing is more powerful than the sentence:

“That doesn’t work for me.”

Say it kindly. Say it clearly. Say it like you're brushing off glitter you didn’t ask for.

Manipulators feed on access. Cut off their emotional buffet and watch how quickly they throw a tantrum — or vanish.

🧊 Rule #3: Master the Grey Rock

Sometimes you can’t escape them (family dinner, school project, dramatic cousin who thinks your silence is betrayal). In that case, be a Grey Rock:
Dull. Flat. Unreactive. Think:

"Oh. Hmm. Okay."

You’re not rude. You’re just emotionally unavailable to nonsense.

📱 Rule #4: Screenshots Save Sanity

If they love playing “I never said that” — congratulations, you’ve unlocked the gaslight level. Keep receipts. Not because you’ll fight them, but because you’ll stop fighting yourself.

🚪 Rule #5: Leave the Door — and the Guilt — Behind

Walking away doesn’t mean you’re mean. It means you love yourself too much to keep explaining basic human decency to someone who benefits from confusing you.

You’re not their rehab. You’re not their doormat. You’re not the emotional support human for their self-inflicted chaos.

💬 From Me (Shakiba) to You:

Look, I’ve been there. Confused. Doubting myself. Wondering if maybe I was being “too sensitive” or “overreacting.”

I wasn’t. And neither are you.

You’re not difficult. You’re discerning. You’re not overdramatic. You’re just finally awake.

And if someone calls your boundaries selfish, remember: toxic people call anything that stops their control “selfish.”

Stay soft, stay smart, and if all else fails… mute them and drink water.

Until next time,

🕊️ Shakiba

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