😑Why I am a WALKING DISASTER

My Problem, Scientifically Analyzed

Okay, I have a problem.
Since the age of one year old, I've been, let's say, kind of absent-minded.
Sometimes, okay?

I tend to be a total klutz. 🙃

Let’s view this problem by solving it the science way. (Hey, I'm a ninth grader and a student of bio, so no judging. 🧬)

---

🔍 Step 1: Recognition of the Problem

Am I a walking disaster on planet Earth?
Observations? I can fill a book.

---

🧠 Observation 1: The Car That Wasn't Ours

School was over and all the kids were crowding the exit gate — yelling, laughing, chatting, fighting, biting... whatever those kids do.

I found Dad in the crowd and he handed me the car key.
He told me he's gonna go and search for Matt and Mike while I go and unlock the car. Easy, right?

I spotted the gray car and headed over to it, feeling — for some reason — awesome. Like I was radiating cool energy and stuff. 😎
In other words, I felt like I was the center of attention.

I mean, even though I can be dumb sometimes, I don't look dumb, okay?

So I pressed the unlock button of my car and I proceeded to pull the handle.
It didn't even budge. I pressed the unlock button again. And again. And again.
Until my sister came up to me and says:

“What the heck are you doing? This is not our car.”

I turned around and sure enough, our car was parked five meters away.
Where our car stood with my dad.
I was puzzled.

Wow, Shakiba, I told myself, you never cease to amaze me. 😑

---

Observation 2: Dusting Disaster

It was a Sunday.
That meant the maid was on vacay — so yay on us for getting her job. 🙄

Mom gave me the job of dusting.
I swallowed my pride and set off to dust the shelves where Mom's remarkable set of showpieces were placed.

I picked one up, dusted off its place, and simultaneously knocked down a flowerpot showpiece.
It fell to the floor and — boom.
Crashed. 

I gulped. Oops.

What happened next is pretty iconic.

Mom was like:

“Hey honey, try not to break anything, okay?”

I turned around, and with a look of innocence on my face, announced:

“Too late.”

Mom raised an eyebrow.
I stepped sideways to showcase my masterpiece.
Mom wasn't pleased.

Spoiler alert: Mom is one of those types of moms who doesn’t hysterically yell at you for doing what I did.
Because Mom’s the cool type. 🧊

She knows it's no use crying over spilled milk.
One of the main reasons I love her unconditionally. 💕

(Maybe I'll dedicate my next blog post to her.)

---

🚪 Observation 3: Wrong Classroom, Some Times

Entering the wrong classroom.

My brain glitches to realization, and my face flushes as I say:

“Oops, wrong classroom,”

and quickly go scramble to the correct one... or another wrong one.
You never know. 😑

---

🧴 Observation 4: Me and My Bottle = Chaos Buddies

My bottle and I have a lot in common.
Seriously.

When there's an important lecture going on, or a long awkward silence or something, my bottle’s like:

“Oh, that’s my cue.”

And crashes.
With a bang.
Followed by a crash. 😵‍💫

And to top it all off — it's made of steel. 

---

🥛 Observation 5. My Daily Routine: Spill Something

It’s kind of like my daily routine to — during dinner — drop a glass of water accidentally.
And Mom casually just putting wet cleaning napkin over the wet areas in order to dry it. 

I mean, it's kind of become like a routine.
I keep dropping a glass filled with water.
It’s second nature to me.

---

🧪 Hypothesis

I break stuff.

---

📌 Deduction

If I break stuff, then I must be clumsy. 🤷‍♀️

---

🔬 Experimentation

Lose a balancing competition of using plates.

(I blame my bro, by the way.)

---

🎓 Conclusion

I am a qualified, certified walking disaster, having done my PhD on CDAM (Clumsiness Due to Absent-Mindedness ).

---

Until next time,
Shakiba ☁️