💀 What to Do When You’re Dying of Boredom

 

Okay listen.

Not to be dramatic or anything, but…
I have officially scrolled to the end of the internet. 💀

My brain is melting, and I’m starting to feel like a side character in a movie that forgot to write me a plot.

Let’s not sugarcoat it.

This isn’t just regular “I’m bored.”
This is “I have 97 things to do but somehow also nothing” bored.
The kind where time feels fake.
My limbs? Noodles.
My thoughts? empty.
My soul? dead.

Welcome to rock bottom, ppl.

THIS IS THE ENDDDDDD.....

Population: me and my aggressively blinking cursor.

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☠️ Stage 1: The SigH

I sigh.
I flop.
I open the fridge like it’s going to solve my life.
(It doesn’t. It never does.)
Just a bottle of ketchup looking back at me with disappointment.

I’ve opened and closed every app like it’s a ritual.
Instagram, YOUTUBE, Notes app… even the calculator, bro.

I read every book on my shelf and I am soooooooooooooo drained.
I’m not even calculating anything, I just needed something to do.

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🧠 PSA: Boredom ≠ Lazy

It’s not that I’m lazy, okay?
I want to do something. I plan to do something.
But my brain’s just sitting there like:

"Uhhh… can we get a visa to japan? Or play smt??"

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🍜 Shakiba’s Emergency Boredom Survival Menu

⚠️ No logic. 

1. Eat a Snack Like You’re in a French Film

Take one olive. Sit  by the window.
Pretend you're mourning a dream you never chased.
Say things like, “What even is time?” while sipping chai.

2. Say “I’m bored” in 5 different accents

Bonus points if one of them is your own but stupido
Will this cure your boredom?
No.
Will it confuse your dog? (if u have one)
Absolutely.

3. Play Music and Pretend You’re in a Coming-of-Age Montage

Bonus points if it’s raining.
Extra bonus points if you slow-motion throw yourself onto your bed like it’s a movie.
This is healing.

4. Make a To-Don’t List

Mine today said:

• ❌ Fold laundry

• ❌ Think about my future

• ❌ Become a peaceful member of society

• ❌ Contact aliens (again)

10/10. Felt rebellious.

5. Text a Friend: “Guess what I’m not doing.”

Now you’re not just bored —You’re making memories out of digital messagings. Beautiful.

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🎃 One Time I Was So Bored I...

Okay, storytime:

I once got so bored, I put sunglasses on all the potatoes in our pantry.
I gave them names. Personalities.
There was Gerald. There was Potatooncé. There was one named "Anxietato."

My mom walked in.
Looked me dead in the eye.
Walked back out.

We never spoke of it again.

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🎬 Final Act: The Moral You Didn’t Ask For

Name your furniture.
Have a staring contest with the wall.